I didn’t do much studying, growing up.
When it came time to take tests in school, I relied on how well I took notes and processed the information when it was taught.
And I must say…I was an impeccable note-taker.
Not because I never made mistakes or misheard anything.
But because I covered up the evidence.
I would re-write an entire page of notes if I thought I put information in the wrong place. I didn’t really want to, but the thought of something being disorganized made me cringe. So for a while, you could say a pencil with a good eraser were my best friends.
You could’ve called me an overachiever with OCD, and I probably wouldn’t have disagreed. I was obsessed with staying organized and sticking to plans. My bedroom as a child was filled with storage units. And everywhere you looked, there were labeled binders, color-coordinated folders, and dividers.
Fun for me was buying school supplies and organizing them in my bookbag before classes started.
Fun for me was sorting through my parent’s mail when the pile of envelopes on their desk got too high.
Fun for me was re-designing my closet.
I was obsessed. I had to have a plan and a place for everything.
I guess you could say I was trying to control what I could in my little world, and avoid chaos at all costs. But that was so ironic, considering, the reality around me was pure dysfunction.
There was a lot of disrespect and disloyalty, and it all created a state of disorder.
All I wanted to do was plan my future and a permanent escape from that type of environment.
My planning worked for a while. It got me through college and into my first “real” job. Then God showed me that my plans won’t always come to fruition. And if they do, they won’t always come when I’m expecting them.
In the Bible, it says,
“Many are the plans in a man’s heart, but it is the LORD’s purpose that prevails.” (Proverbs 19:21)
“For I know the plans I have for you,’ declares the LORD, ‘plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.” (Jeremiah 29:11)
These verses allowed me to see that God wants nothing but the best for me. And He knows what must happen to accomplish that.
A great example of this is when I met my husband. I met him at a time when I wasn’t necessarily looking for a husband, but after a year of friendship and a three week courtship, I knew he was “the one.” He wasn’t in my plans and, at that time, I thought a whirlwind romance would throw my life out of order, but he was exactly what I needed.
He’s taught me how to love.
He’s taught me how to trust.
He’s taught how to be happy with a life that’s not perfect.
And now, I don’t fear things that appear out of order…because I know they are all a part of God’s plan.